Document type : vocene
Date : 2007-04-04
Description : VOCene #30
Content :
VOCene #30 - April 4, 2007
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In this VOCene:

I. Letter from the Editor
II. News
III. Upcoming Trips
     1) Banquet
     2) Spearhead
     3) Joffre/Matier Mountaineering trip 2.0
     4) Ashlu-Elaho Traverse
     5) Leavenworth/Vantage
     6) Beginner Kayak Trip
     7) Cliffhanger
IV.  Trip Reports
     1) The Best Saturday Ever	
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I. Letter From the Editor

After extensive research, I believe that an uncontrolled hunt/trap of the apus annoyous (common name the devious monkey or curious George) should be re-instated to make general research, outdoor activities, and drinking far more effective and efficient. If you are not familiar with apus annoyous (from here on referred to as simply the "monkey"), you should be. This species of monkey is responsible for all the little things that go wrong in your life. This monkey has been known to: hide keys while you sleep before 4am departure times; take lighters out of cooking kits so you can not start a stove in the backcountry; put small tears and breaks in critical gear that you don't notice until it is too late; shit in your mouth while you sleep after a heavy night of drinking; and fiddle with knobs, settings and dials in your lab often negating hours of careful experimental preparations and preventing you from getting into the outdoors in a timely manner. 

The only known method to control this animal is to distract it by prancing around nude. So, at critical times of the day when the monkey most often strikes (early morning, when you are tired, and at night), being naked will distract the monkey from doing its otherwise harmful activities. However, nudity is only a temporary solution to this problem and a more permanent solution must be developed. It is clear that this monkey is a nuisance to a large number of people, and all efforts should be undertaken by the VOC, BCMC, ACC and CAF to control this pest. However, there have been no confirmed sitings of this annoying animal, and thus no one knows exactly how to either capture or kill the monkey. The CAF has a reward for anyone who can capture this animal alive as it would be an effective weapon against any hostile army. Simply releasing the beast behind enemy lines would decrease the opposing army's battle readiness by such a large extent as to render even the most highly trained army into 'idiotic faffers'.

So, I am looking for anyone who can help me devise a trap so that I can capture the monkey that has been plaguing my trips. The monkey will not be harmed in anyway and will be released somewhere safe (such as a snowmobiles residence). Any help would be much appreciated and the prize money from CAF will be split evenly between those who participate in its capture.    

II. News

-Bring your own plate and fork to the Banquet. If you don't bring one, you will be eating with your hands. Doors open at 5:30.

III. Upcoming Trips

1) Banquet
When: April 4
Where: ANZA Club, 3 West 8th Avenue Vancouver, BC
Wiki: http://www.ubc-voc.com/wiki/Banquet

We have a DJ (Arlin), dance floor and beer, wine and cider. If you show up between 5:30-6pm, cover is $2, and $7 if you show up after 6pm. This is the annual general meeting and we have a few really important issues to discuss including electing next years executive, passing the budget and a few other items. The dinner is supplied, dessert is pot luck. There is going to be a slideshow by Robin Walshaw on his 2003 Everest Expedition. This event is formal, so if you own something nice, I'd wear it. Must bring own plates and utensils. 

2) Spearhead
When: April 6-9
Where: Garibaldi Park by Whistler/Blackcomb
Wiki: www.ubc-voc.com/wiki/Spearhead_Traverse

This trip is still up in the air, but might happen if the Weather and avalanche condition cooperate.

3) Joffre/Matier Mountaineering trip 2.0
When: April 13-15
Where: Joffre/Matier
Wiki: www.ubc-voc.com/wiki/Spring_Mountaineering_Camp

This should be the same as the last one with the notable exception that this one should be a go.

4) Ashlu-Elaho Traverse
When: April 6-9
Where: Across the valley from Cloudburst 
Wiki: www.ubc-voc.com/wiki/Ashlu-Elaho_Easter2007

This trip is full as it will be completed in independent groups of 4.

5) Leavenworth/Vantage
When: April 6-9
Where: Somewhere that is dry and has climbable rock
Wiki: www.ubc-voc.com/wiki/Leavenworth_and_Vantage_Climbing_Trip

I'm excited! There seems to be a few spots left in cars as people sort themselves out.

6) Beginner Kayak Trip
When: April 21-22
Where: Indian Arm
Wiki: http://www.ubc-voc.com/wiki/Beginner_Kayak_Trip

This is a trip organized by Eva so that she can get some practice guiding before she starts her summer job. The trip is already pretty well attended if all of the people who signed up are not flakes. Eva will organize kayaks (must have payed up by Friday) and will cook for up to 8 people at cost. Camping doesn't get any cushier. 

7) Cliffhanger

This Thursday and next Tuesday will be poorly attended because most people who go are going to be in Leavenworth. 

IV. Trip Reports
1) Best Saturday Ever

It was a sweet Saturday with a multitude of great trips. Ben's Son of Rock was a success with people learning many new and useful skills like escaping a belay, double rope work and trad leading. The group doing the Neve met up with the Son of Rock group for some Brew Pub action after a great day getting cooked on a glacier. The Garibaldi summit team did not make the summit because the weather crapped out on Sunday morning, but otherwise made great time. I wish there were more Saturdays like this past one.

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Quote of the Week: "Sure, some people pack more crap than others, but going dumb and naked isn't what 'Fast and light' is about either."    
 Nate B.
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